


A Moose in Christmas Lights

by QuillsAndInk



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A poor attempt at humor, But Satan help me I try, Christmas Time, Fluff, I’m really not that funny, M/M, shennanigans, sooo much fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 19:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18947128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillsAndInk/pseuds/QuillsAndInk
Summary: When a prank on Lucifer goes horribly wrong, Sam learns the hard way that archangels always get revenge.





	A Moose in Christmas Lights

**Author's Note:**

> Major thanks to my artist! I hope you enjoy. You can find their art here: 
> 
> https://angel-with-a-moonsword.tumblr.com/post/185108970507/today-i-come-to-you-with-yet-another-art-made-for
> 
> I recommend taking a look, it’s lovely

    “Lucifer, this is not funny,” Sam growled. “Dean, damnit, stop laughing you’re not helping!” He glared at his brother who was clutching his sides in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Lucifer, on the other hand, wore a proud smirk as he looked over his handiwork with glee. 

     Antlers. Fucking giant, heavy-ass moose antlers sprouted from either side of Sam’s head. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they were snared in a mass of blinking Christmas lights that didn’t seem to understand that they needed to be plugged in to work. Sam shook his head hard in annoyance, becoming even more vexed as the heft of the antlers hindered his movement. 

       “I don’t know Sam,” Lucifer said has he carelessly observed his fingernails, “I think you look dashing in them.”

        “No,” Sam disagreed, “take them  _ off _ .”

        “No can do, Sammy,” Lucifer replied, smirk widening into a grin, “not till you learn your lesson.”

         “Come  _ on _ ,” Sam said defensively. 

         “You ought not prank the devil without expecting something in return.”

           “Dean started it! It was  _ his  _ idea!” Sam griped. Dean stopped laughing long enough to level a glare at Sam.

         “Hey!” He groused, “it was just a little fun.  _ You’re  _ the one that escalated everything.”

        “Hardly,” Sam scoffed. “It was just a little itching powder, come on.”

        “In my  _ wings _ ,” Lucifer reminded him. “You know, the most sensitive part of my body? The manifestation of my grace?”

        “Don’t be such a drama queen,” Sam said with an eye roll. “How was I supposed to know that you’re wings were so sensitive? Or that you were allergic to itching powder?” In truth, Sam did feel bad about it. It was just harmless fun, but when Sam had carefully spread the itching powder over Lucifer’s favorite sweater, he really hadn’t expected it to get on his wings. It’s not as though they were manifested all the time! Sam had just assumed they were tucked away in some pocket dimension, safely away from the itching. Boy, had he been wrong. Lucifer’s wings had manifested immediately and he spent several miserable minutes clawing at the inflamed skin beneath his feathers before he could muster up the mental strength to heal himself. 

        “Well, I  _ am _ ,” Lucifer replies primly. “Enjoy the antlers, Sammy.” And with a snap of his fingers, he was gone in a rustle of feathers. Dean, still read faced, and hiccuping in the aftermath of laughter slapped a heavy hand against Sam’s back.

      “C’mon, moose boy. The bunker ain’t gonna decorate itself.” 

        ******

      Dean was right. The bunker  _ didn’t  _ decorate itself. And moose antlers made decorating it no simple task. Sam was forever thrown off balance by the extra weight on his head and the mass of lights got caught on  _ everything.  _ Memorably, a sprig of mistletoe the Dean had hung in hopes of roping Castiel into a kiss. Dean had doubled over in laughter for several minutes and it took several more to untangle the stubbornly blinking lights. 

     Later, the Christmas tree that Sam, Dean, and Castiel (Lucifer had been nowhere to be seen since earlier that morning) has painstakingly decorated was ripped to the ground after a branch had sneakily gotten stuck between the points in one of the antlers and a quick and unknowing jerk of Sam’s head was all it took. 

       “ _ Sam _ ,” Dean barked, “c’mon man, we worked on that for two hours!”

         “Here, let me help—” Sam dove for the shambles of the tree but Castiel caught him by the shoulder. 

         “Perhaps you should take a break, Sam,” he suggested lightly. 

          “Yeah, dude, you’re benched till Lucifer deigns to take those ridiculous things off your head,” Dean agreed. Chastened, Sam slunk off to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. As he was aggressively slathering his bread with mayo, Lucifer pressed his body along Sam’s back. Sam jumped 

      “ _ Jesus _ ,” Sam barked.

      “Very wrong,” Lucifer purred into Sam’s back. Sam turned in Lucifer’s arms and bent to kiss him, swinging an antler just shy of Lucifer’s face.

      “Now they’ve become annoying,” Lucifer remarked and removed tha antlers and the mass of Christmas lights with a snap of his fingers. Sam’s head fell forward and knocked into Lucifer’s. 

     “Sorry,” Sam said quickly, immediately withdrawing to inspect Lucifer’s forehead and sweeping his fingers across Lucifer’s hairline to check for any bruising. Lucifer pushed his hands away just as Sam realized that he was inspecting an  _ archangel  _ for a bruise.  _ Idiot _ , Sam chastened himself. Lucifer roller his eyes.

        “Just fucking come  _ here _ ,” he growled and dragged Sam down for a proper kiss. Sam cupped both Lucifer’s cheeks and felt gratified when Lucifer melted against him. Lucifer reaches around Sam to hungrily grope his ass. Sam pulled Lucifer tighter against his his body. Lucifer groaned.

      “Fucking  _ hell _ ,” Dean’s voice came from somewhere beside them. Lucifer slipped his tongue deeper into Sam’s mouth to make a more obscene sound. Sam rolled his eyes, but he didn’t pull away. Lucifer and Dean liked each other well enough, but the didn’t trust each other entirely. At least half of their relationship was trying to annoy the other. Sam was more than used to being monkey in the middle. Lucifer pulled away from Sam and god, was he a vision. All ruffled hair and kiss swollen lips. Sam was more than happy to dive right back in if his brother hadn’t been standing there.

      “Hey, Dean,” Lucifer said in the most lecherous voice. 

       “Not where we fucking eat,” Dean snapped. He pointed an accusatory finger at Sam. “I raised you better than that, moose boy,”

       “Hey!” Sam barked. “Jerk!”

       “Right back atcha, bitch,” Dean said with a grin. A real one this time, not the fox grins his gave to Lucifer. Something warm and fuzzy ignited in his chest. 

       “Thanks, Dean,” Sam said. Dean knew what it meant. Sam never needed approval, but that was as close to Dean’s as he would ever admit, and Sam was glad as hell to have it. 

         “Shuddup. No chick flick moments,” Dean groused, but he was still smiling. With that, he left the kitchen, presumably to finish up the tree with Castiel. 

        “Merry Christmas, Sam,” Lucifer said as soon as Dean was out of earshot. He had a soft, private smile that was just for Sam. 

        “Merry Christmas, Lucifer,” Sam replied. To hell with mistletoe. Sam needed no excuse to kiss Lucifer and he did. 


End file.
